Hell in the Morning

The world

Have you ever had this feeling of paralysing hatred of life in the morning, when you wake up and you realise that you have so much to do and so little time to yourself. I have it now and then; I open my eyes feeling good and rested, I glance at the bedroom’s blinds and then the lighting of reality strikes me. I can hear this hollow scream inside me, my inner voice is urging my brain to scan all the available excuses to retreat myself from the upcoming hell. I usually have few justifications, which I keep in my imaginary pocket for real human-mental-kind emergencies. I barely use them but when I do they are worth a special prize. I like having my weekly- daily diary full but sometimes I miss freedom of having no obligations or responsibilities. I think everybody does that, or maybe it’s only me. When I feel overwhelmed I take time off (within limits off course, as according to a walnut inside my head I cannot allow myself to become a walking failure, and the constant avoidance of difficulties would definitely lead to it, so I push myself as much as I can). When I take a break from my daily routine I go to the park, listen to the sounds, look at the colours around me, exhale and inhale still polluted air and look for a place to create a home away from the civilisation.

SAM_0011

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2 thoughts on “Hell in the Morning

  1. It can be so hard to carve out the time we need to nourish ourselves. About a year or two ago, I began telling those who might intrude too much that I had a “writing date” (I do have writing partners), even if that date was simply with myself, to write at my own table. It is true, and extremely helpful when I need to snatch what moments I can for myself. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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