Heartache

Precious Experiences

There is nothing worse than to comprehend  the betrayal of someone whom you trusted the most. Especially if you regarded that person to be your ‘soulmate’. You desperately  justify their behaviour  trying to explain it. You  link it to their imperfections , flaws,  problems or quirks. You don’t want to let go because you are scared of loosing them as human beings who brought light or happiness into your life especially if your existence had been under a thick layer of misfortune for a long time. 

When you realise that you can’t continue being ‘in the picture’ because it’s too hurtful for you… you leave… but it feels like a part of you died… The closest creature with whom you’ve had the strongest and the most intense connection and who have motivated you to reach for more has gone forever. 

You feel the physical pain inside you, it feels like your heart is cut and about to burst, your head explode and your stomach tear apart. Your throat tightens and you want to scream and cry at the same time. You have a floating thought inside your head of dying here & now to soothe the unbearable pain. You feel so scared, saddened, hurt and lost like a dog which was thrown out of the car to be abandoned in the middle of nowhere. 

What does your ‘ soulmate’ do? Do they suffer like you do? Or go about with their lives like nothing has happened? 

If you truly love someome nothing else matters therefore it’s very easy to loose  a sense of ‘self- worth’ and ‘self-care’ in the name of shared issues. 

Don’t be afraid to walk away if you have reached your limit and have understood the whole situation objectively. You have not been defeated, you’ve done your best out of your love, care and devotion. You’ve showed your ‘soulmate’ the real goodness that comes from love and that is a wonderful lesson for them which they may never understand. You protect your inner self by removing yourself from their life and moving on. If you wish them good it shows how humble and  pure your love has been and how strong you are as a person. 

Remember everything happens for a reason. You’ve learnt a lot from this journey  same as your ‘soulmate’. The difference is that you are aware of your newly acquired knowledge and they may never be.
Time heals wounds, you won’t forget it, it will sting but it will get better…. you will learn how to live with it. Life will enrich you with new experiences. 
You are amazing :*

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6 thoughts on “Heartache

  1. I wonder if we all must experience such intimate pain, in some form or other. I did not lose my soulmate, but rather a sibling in a similar fashion. The trust and bond and collective experience of years shared became twisted up and misaligned to such an extent, that the relationship became physically and emotionally dangerous. It has been seventeen years now. We rarely cross paths any more, because this sibling has ducked from other family relationships. It has often felt like a pre-mature death, and was such a personally devastating experience to me, that I needed and sought outside help. I have gained perspective. Calm. Deeper understanding of myself. I have gained contentment. But sometimes, thoughts and memories skitter across my mind in a manner that I can only imagine resembles a haunting.

    You are amazing. Heal well. And Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment Carrie Birde! I do believe we all or atleast most of us must go through a similar experience which is emotionally painful and draining. It teaches us a lot about ourselves and others. You’re right, it feels like a pre- mature death as you ‘ loose’ someone who you can relate to and who can understand you as no one else (that’s how it used to be in the past).

      Like

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