As I was walking on the street covered in debris I stumbled upon a building which emanated terrifying and seductive energy. I was immediately drawn to it. Excited and hopeful I entered the house made of gold and silver tiles. The house didn’t have rooms but was a triangular open area. In the middle of it was sitting a transparent creature who introduced himself as ‘ Freddie’. Freddie didn’t look happy or sad but agitated. He was holding a crimson sack which was made of suede fabric. I must admit , I liked the colour and I was tempted to touch it but my Inner- self stopped me. I attempted to start a conversation with Freddie by saying old and well known – ‘ How are you Freddie?’. Freddie didn’t respond but opened the sack instead. Despite the fact that I stood few metres away from Freddie I still could see what was inside the bag. I saw money, gold , silver , jewellery and an envelope signed as – ‘ Neverending happiness , good luck and wealthy life’. I stepped back and ran away.
I don’t believe in wealthy life without worries, problems and troubles. I believe that the negativity in our lives helps balance the positivity. It creates a healthy and steady bridge between our mental and physical health. Building that bridge is the most difficult part as it requires gratitude and humbleness. The inner- self helps us to find the gaps in our lives that need to be filled with learnt lessons and positive energy. Once the voids are sealed mental wounds can begin to heal. There will be scars which will accompany us till the rest of our lives. I treat my painful mental marks with love & understanding as they remind me of my courage and braverery.
Mental scars and wounds have made me of who I am today – a strong , flawed and a resilient woman who lives her simple life by following her conscience and heart and by listening to her twin – the Inner- self. I view my inner- self as my twin sister- a fearless and reckless version of me who rejects threats of the outside world. My ‘twin’ constantly strives for more and is not afraid. My life has improved since I have learnt to look deep inside myself and became aware of the present moment. I have rejected materialistic believes and pleasures. I have learnt to love myself. I have stopped looking for acceptance and approval from others. I have stopped hoping for better times to come. I have started embracing life and all its aspects. Here and now is crucial. When worries and problems come I slow down and take a break but I don’t put myself down anymore. I release negativity through tears, get up and go. Most of all, I allow my loved ones to be there for me. Shit comes, happens, goes and leaves us with new life lessons which enrich our lives. Although it’s been 5 years since I transformed my life I still learn and I won’t stop!
Thich Nhat Hanh has taught me a lot with his full of wisdom writings.