Intrusive Thoughts

Precious Experiences

If you have ever suffered from anxiety, depression ( maybe both) or any other mental condition you will be able to relate to what I’m about to say.

Mental Health SeeSaw

Today, I would like to talk about intrusive thoughts.

If you have ever suffered from anxiety, depression ( maybe both) or any other mental condition you will be able to relate to what I’m about to say.

First, how would you define ‘intrusive thoughts’ ? Let me give you my definition of it. If it was possible to present intrusive thoughts in the physical form they would look like a tangled mayhem of cables (which you can see in the picture below). There are many cables and cords of different types all mixed together. They represent your thoughts about the past, present and future. As you may know, if you are under the attack of intrusive thoughts you may feel like you’re lacking of the clarity of reality. Most likely, you are experiencing the feeling of going insane. You are under this impression because your brain tries to process so…

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Life is Precious

Motivational Blib Blob

Life is precious. Always strive to improve it mentally.

Mental Health SeeSaw

Your life is precious. Don’t neglect it but always strive for more to improve it. Remember, improving your existence doesn’t mean to gain more of the materialistic possessions. It means to acknowledge the present moment. The present moment is

– what you hear

– what you see

– what you smell

– what you physically sense

Stop for a moment and just look around you. Notice details of objects, people and nature surrounding you. Feel the ground under your feet, if you are holding a rail on a bus think about its colour and its surface. It’s very simple. This is what we call active meditation, by actively meditating you are allowing your mind to rest for a while.

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Eating Disorder

Life is real

The story about my struggle with the eating disorder.

Mental Health SeeSaw

I had suffered from an eating disorder for many years. I used to emotionally overeat (binge), starve myself and exercise in order to burn the calories I had consumed. It was impossible for me to eat in public places as I felt constantly observed and looked at by strangers. I hated my body and I felt ashamed of it. I avoided mirrors at any cost because in my opinion I didn’t meet the beauty standards. I mentally abused myself by calling my body & inner-self names-” Ugly pig”, “Disgusting fat monster”, “Fat retard”, “Fat looser”etc. I didn’t feel worth of being loved and cared for. I had isolated myself from the world and let the abuse from myself & my ex to take over my life.

It took me a long time to overcome horrible thoughts and overwhelming emotional state which encouraged frequent and regular binge eating sessions. I used…

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I Don’t Understand 

Life is real

There are many things which I can’t fully comprehend. For instance, I don’t understand people’s foolishness, violence and arrogance. How pathetic can you be to physically abuse any living creature?   How stupid can you be to pull out the gun and threat another human being with it?  Does it make you powerful and strong? OR Is it a safety net and some sort of aid for your rotting brain cells. Violence & cruelty is always a sign of weakness!!!  I am disgusted and angry that parasites like this are on the Earth. 

You Have the Power

Motivational Blib Blob

Terrible news, horrible experiences, physical violence and mental abuse can harm & destroy you both mentally and physically. It’s hard to find the inner strength and hope during sad times. 

It’s important to keep in mind that bad time doesn’t last forever and our existence is made of negative, neutral and positive occurences. 

I know it doesn’t sound appealing to a person who has been suffering but right now PLEASE focus solely on yourself. If you are in the harmful environment PLEASE plan the great  escape. Eat healthy, sleep enough and rediscover your hobbies, wishes and desires. You are the the most wonderful & unique person who deserves the best in life. Only if you remove yourself from a negative situation that will be possible and healing process will take place. 

Abuse

Life is real

Don’t let others to change your personality. Don’t let them to tell you that there is something wrong with you. Long time ago, I let a person to manipulate me, it took me five long & painful years to break free. I’m healthy, strong and free. If you are in the abusive relationship or know someone who is in the toxic situation please help them. There are so many organisations to reach to. Sometimes, a simple conversation can be an eye opener or at least encouragement to work towards better future. 

Watch for these signs:

* You are blamed for everything you do

* You are never good enough no matter how hard you try 

* You are being called names 

* You are being mentally manipulated making you believe that you have a severe mental issue which can be changed with the solely help of  the abuser ( you will be magically healed as soon as you start behaving according to the abuser’s wishes)

* Your family is being blamed for your ‘poor mental state’ and you are being told to stay away from them

* You are allowed to go out but when you do so you are being ignored or exposed to abusive behaviour e.g. being yelled at for not making dinner or spending money at a piece of clothing

* You are being controlled

* You are exposed to violent behaviour towards material objects and then you are blamed for ‘causing’ it

* You feel threatened and constantly check if the things are done the way the abuser wants them to be 

* You are told that you are the biggest disappointment and cause of such miserable life the abuser is forced to lead because of you 

Please,  don’t hesitate to contact : 

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/

http://www.samaritans.org/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

annhana22@icloud.com 

Shine bright and remember you are the most unique and wonderful person who has every right to expierience love , respect and joy !!! Life is beautiful 😊 

Boris- Mental Health- Important 

Precious Experiences

This is Boris 

A male cat who is strong & resilient. He was found under the bridge 14 years ago. He was weak, bruised, injured & scared. It took him a while to heal but in the end he took a major step and began to gradually build a relationship with us based on trust & love. It seems that he left his dark past behind and started a new life. We all could learn from him. I know life injures and scars us but it’s never to late to start AGAIN AND BE FULFILLED!!! 

There are three steps to do that:

1. Realisation of the negative experience and its impact on our lives .

2. Acceptance of the negative experience and the beggining of living our life ‘HERE & NOW ‘ – the importance of being in the present moment and embracing the wonderful visual, verbal & physical things of the surrounding world while focusing on the nature and meditation.

3. Practising living in the present moment and welcoming new life experiences. 

Please be aware that it’s impossible to erase the past. The key to forgiveness is acceptance and self-care. In order to heal emotional and mental wounds we must look after ourselves. It’s not about justifying wrong actions of those who have hurt us but its about solely focusing on ourselves and staying away from toxicity of our perpetrators. We are all unique and special. We deserve respect. 

If you have suicidal thoughts or if you are a victim of bullying, domestic mental & physical abuse, neglect, rape or any other kind mistreatment please don’t be afraid to share your pain & sadness. Life is beautiful full of surprises.

Remember you are a unique human being 😊

annhana22@icloud.com 

http://www.bullying.co.uk/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-men.htm

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

https://mentalhealthseesaw.com/

Life Happens and Abuse Occurs

Life is real

IMG_8303

Once upon a time there was a beautiful rose, her petals were crimson, leaves emerald green, and thorns copper. Rose was flourishing rapidly making her Granny proud. Unfortunately, she was swayed by ‘goodness’ of the heart’  of a manic protagonist of evil manipulation disguised as a respectful Gardener of Eden. Rose thought that she made the right choice by staying with him but for some unknown reason she slowly began to change:  her petals darkened, leaves wilted, thorns hardened, and stem blackened. Rose was puzzled and troubled by her appearance while tolerating villainous acts of rage courtesy of Gardener of Eden. She had never been good enough but instead criticised, ostracised, and blamed for  the misfortune that had occurred in Gardener’s life. Rose was slowly withering, and clinging to the hope of a new better day . The days were grey and the nights were thickly black, she woke up on Wednesday morning and said-‘Enough is enough’, she wanted to leave but Gardener begged her to stay. Rose was swayed by those empty and dirty lies and stayed with a Shambolic Creature for little bit longer. The history had repeated itself again and Rose changed. She had learnt to ignore and avoid  Gardener as much as she could focusing on the growth and development of her inner self even though she was labelled the biggest weed of the pathetic bush.

On Monday, a friend gave Rose a book about emotional abuse, at first, Rose didn’t want to read it as she was afraid of the truth. She swallowed  her new survival Bible all in one night while being devoured by relief, anger, fear, sadness and frustration. She couldn’t believe what her eyes just saw, she thought- ‘No, it can’t be true, I can’t be the victim.’ She had tried to help  Gardener to cope with his demons but he refused to cooperate. Days and nights had gone by for Rose dreaming about different life but nothing changed. On Sunday, another outburst had occurred, but that time something popped inside Rose, and she spoke to her perpetrator, her voice was loud and clear, she said-‘ You do not have any right to talk to me like this, I am a human being not an object, do not abuse me verbally !’ The Gardener looked shocked and surprised and straight away started justfying his actions blaming Rose for provoking him but she didn’t listen and left the field. Rose promised herself to leave. She had become focused on the life outside the field. The Gardener lost his interest engulfing himself in outings with fellow idiots. Rose had worked hard slowly building the courage to free herself but still felt lost and afraid. After visiting her friend in a foreign country, she was blessed with a vision of what to do next. When she came back to the field full of bitterness and venom she pursued her plans to evacuate. She had begun preparing herself financially and emotionally and finally left.

If you are in the emotionally abusive relationship and you are being manipulated by your partner you may not notice the actual problem straight away. Deep down you know that something is wrong but still you try to justify her/his actions. It takes great courage to stand up for yourself and rebuild your life but once you realise that you are an amazing and unique human being who deserve the best from the universe everything will get somehow easier. It is important to remember to be very careful while planning each step on the way to freedom. They key is to prepare yourself financially and emotionally and I am almost there 🙂

Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about your situation. Talk about it, you deserve respect and peace in your life. It took me 5,5 years to mature to this decision and will take few months more to leave.

A very helpful website with useful information about emotional abuse:

http://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse