Once upon a time there was a beautiful rose, her petals were crimson, leaves emerald green, and thorns copper. Rose was flourishing rapidly making her Granny proud. Unfortunately, she was swayed by ‘goodness’ of the heart’ of a manic protagonist of evil manipulation disguised as a respectful Gardener of Eden. Rose thought that she made the right choice by staying with him but for some unknown reason she slowly began to change: her petals darkened, leaves wilted, thorns hardened, and stem blackened. Rose was puzzled and troubled by her appearance while tolerating villainous acts of rage courtesy of Gardener of Eden. She had never been good enough but instead criticised, ostracised, and blamed for the misfortune that had occurred in Gardener’s life. Rose was slowly withering, and clinging to the hope of a new better day . The days were grey and the nights were thickly black, she woke up on Wednesday morning and said-‘Enough is enough’, she wanted to leave but Gardener begged her to stay. Rose was swayed by those empty and dirty lies and stayed with a Shambolic Creature for little bit longer. The history had repeated itself again and Rose changed. She had learnt to ignore and avoid Gardener as much as she could focusing on the growth and development of her inner self even though she was labelled the biggest weed of the pathetic bush.
On Monday, a friend gave Rose a book about emotional abuse, at first, Rose didn’t want to read it as she was afraid of the truth. She swallowed her new survival Bible all in one night while being devoured by relief, anger, fear, sadness and frustration. She couldn’t believe what her eyes just saw, she thought- ‘No, it can’t be true, I can’t be the victim.’ She had tried to help Gardener to cope with his demons but he refused to cooperate. Days and nights had gone by for Rose dreaming about different life but nothing changed. On Sunday, another outburst had occurred, but that time something popped inside Rose, and she spoke to her perpetrator, her voice was loud and clear, she said-‘ You do not have any right to talk to me like this, I am a human being not an object, do not abuse me verbally !’ The Gardener looked shocked and surprised and straight away started justfying his actions blaming Rose for provoking him but she didn’t listen and left the field. Rose promised herself to leave. She had become focused on the life outside the field. The Gardener lost his interest engulfing himself in outings with fellow idiots. Rose had worked hard slowly building the courage to free herself but still felt lost and afraid. After visiting her friend in a foreign country, she was blessed with a vision of what to do next. When she came back to the field full of bitterness and venom she pursued her plans to evacuate. She had begun preparing herself financially and emotionally and finally left.
If you are in the emotionally abusive relationship and you are being manipulated by your partner you may not notice the actual problem straight away. Deep down you know that something is wrong but still you try to justify her/his actions. It takes great courage to stand up for yourself and rebuild your life but once you realise that you are an amazing and unique human being who deserve the best from the universe everything will get somehow easier. It is important to remember to be very careful while planning each step on the way to freedom. They key is to prepare yourself financially and emotionally and I am almost there 🙂
Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about your situation. Talk about it, you deserve respect and peace in your life. It took me 5,5 years to mature to this decision and will take few months more to leave.
A very helpful website with useful information about emotional abuse: