Bad Day

The mind wonders and you feel lost in the black hole. 

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Remember!

Devil

I believe the Inner-self protects us. It guards us and senses the danger in the negative energy thrown at us by others. It sounds very surrealistic but I have experienced it multiple times. I have met people who emanates the evil and thrives on others’ misfortune and unhappiness. Someone would say that it’s purely a defence mechanism and way of coping with  obstacles. It’s a logical explanation which from the psychological point of view makes a lot of sense. I’m a spiritual person. I like to call myself a happy hippy who rejects materialistic way of life and embraces the natural side of it. I have worked with a person who emanates the negative energy for three and half years. She claims to be a devoted Christian who is a creature without a flaw. She smiles at misfortune of others, wishes things to go wrong for them – especially if it means a good and positive outcome for her- benefits in any form. She always shares her troubles and worries and expects  compassion in return. I consider her to be an emotional parasite but from the spiritual & spiritual side I believe that my Inner-self fights whatever she throws at me. I have become immuned to paralysing toxicity. 

Boris- Mental Health- Important

This is Boris 

A male cat who is strong & resilient. He was found under the bridge 14 years ago. He was weak, bruised, injured & scared. It took him a while to heal but in the end he took a major step and began to gradually build a relationship with us based on trust & love. It seems that he left his dark past behind and started a new life. We all could learn from him. I know life injures and scars us but it’s never to late to start AGAIN AND BE FULFILLED!!! 

There are three steps to do that:

1. Realisation of the negative experience and its impact on our lives .

2. Acceptance of the negative experience and the beggining of living our life ‘HERE & NOW ‘ – the importance of being in the present moment and embracing the wonderful visual, verbal & physical things of the surrounding world while focusing on the nature and meditation.

3. Practising living in the present moment and welcoming new life experiences. 

Please be aware that it’s impossible to erase the past. The key to forgiveness is acceptance and self-care. In order to heal emotional and mental wounds we must look after ourselves. It’s not about justifying wrong actions of those who have hurt us but its about solely focusing on ourselves and staying away from toxicity of our perpetrators. We are all unique and special. We deserve respect. 

If you have suicidal thoughts or if you are a victim of bullying, domestic mental & physical abuse, neglect, rape or any other kind mistreatment please don’t be afraid to share your pain & sadness. Life is beautiful full of surprises.

Remember you are a unique human being 😊

annhana22@icloud.com 

http://www.bullying.co.uk/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-men.htm

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

https://mentalhealthseesaw.com/

Poop

A little tiny dwarf keeps digging holes in the ground to bury other dwarves’ accidental poops.  They poop, let her know about the fresh & smelly delivery and expect her to get rid of the turd. The tiny creature considers them to be her friends but for some strange reason they are nowhere to be seen when she has a toilet situation to be assisted with. She thinks she helps them but she doesn’t know that they take advantage of her caring nature. It’s easy to fall into the trap of exploiting dwarves. 

Few years ago, I thought doing a lot for others would help me to fill my life with pisitive people. I was very wrong. I filled my life not with the happy & loving beings but preying piranhas. It took me a while to realise the cause of my misery. When I did it I knew that I needed to work on my assertiveness and self- worth. It helped. Don’t be that little miss, be assertive and look after yourself. 

Peace within my Soul

It’s Tuesday morning and I’m awaiting for the interview. For a highly sensitive person like me it’s a huge challenge because my brain rushes and processes milion thoughts and possibilities at the same time. It leaves me with a head which feels like a ticking bomb from the Bomberman. The factors that contribute to this state of mind are not only internal but also external. Fair enough for my brain to rush with thoughts like a speedy oyster running away from the coyote but on the top of that lovely chocolate layer of thoughts I have the whole external world and happenings bursting with joy and happily contributing  to my well being making it feel like a rollercoaster. 

How do I cope ?

I sit down, look and listen. I acknowledge the fact that I’m in the present moment. I can feel my feet touching the ground. I enjoy breathing in and out. I use my eyes to observe people and surroundings. I listen to their feet moving in a fast and steady pace, I can hear a piano playing tunes in the background. I’m one unique individual who cherishes the fact of being alive.

Peace & Love can conquer the bad and bring back the good. Fate & Universe is all we need. Active meditation is a powerful tool to heal and help to move forward even if you feel like the Bomberman 😊

Exausted Brain

The best way of taking care of an exausted and overworked brain mass is to take it easy…. ha! Easy to say! But ‘taking it easy’ is simple and only involves going to sleep! 

No matter what you are going through in your life and what problems you are facing at the moment, trying to deal with them while being overwhelmed  and tired won’t help. If you allow yourself to go to bed and drift off by actively meditating you will feel stronger and more aware with new perspective & clarity. The active meditation will work sparkling magic.

Hmm … active meditation is not complicated. It can be done everywhere. It consists of solely concentrating on your breath- deep breath- breath in and breath out and repeat it as long as you are awake in bed 🙂

You are strong and resilient! 

A Simple Reminder

As I walk I breath…. but how do I breath? Am I occupied with bombarding and tormenting thoughts? Is my mind tortured and afraid of the future? Do I keep asking myself

– what if………? 

Present moment is the only way of spiritual & personal freedom. What counts appears here and now. I’ve found myself so many times being calmed down and soothed by the healing power of nature. It doesn’t cost anything. It requires an effort of coming out of the crowded space in to the green/ brown/ grey sanctuary depends on the season. The healing beauty is around us it just needs to be noticed and acknowledged.

 

Materialistic, Shambolic and Bottomless Sack

As I was walking on the street covered in debris I stumbled upon a building which emanated terrifying and seductive energy. I was immediately drawn to it. Excited and hopeful I entered the house  made of gold and silver tiles. The house didn’t have rooms but was a triangular open area. In the middle of it was sitting a transparent creature who introduced himself as ‘ Freddie’. Freddie didn’t look happy or sad but agitated. He was holding a crimson sack which was made of suede fabric. I must admit , I liked the colour and I was tempted to touch it but my Inner- self stopped me. I attempted to start a conversation with Freddie by saying old and well known – ‘ How are you Freddie?’. Freddie didn’t respond but opened the sack instead. Despite the fact that I stood few metres away from Freddie I still could see what was inside the bag. I saw money, gold , silver , jewellery and an envelope signed as – ‘ Neverending happiness , good luck and wealthy life’. I stepped back and ran away. 

I don’t believe in wealthy life without worries, problems and troubles. I believe that the negativity in our lives helps balance the positivity. It creates a healthy and steady bridge between our mental and physical health.  Building that bridge is the most difficult part as it requires gratitude and humbleness. The inner- self helps us to find the gaps in our lives that need to be filled with learnt lessons and positive energy. Once the voids are sealed mental wounds can begin to heal. There will be scars which will accompany us till the rest of our lives. I treat my painful mental marks with love & understanding as they remind me of my courage and braverery. 

Mental scars and wounds have made me of who I am today – a strong , flawed and a resilient woman who lives her simple life by following her conscience  and heart and by listening to her twin – the Inner- self. I view my inner- self as my twin sister- a fearless and reckless version of me who rejects threats of the outside world. My ‘twin’ constantly strives for more and is not afraid. My life has improved since I have learnt to look deep inside myself  and became aware of the present moment. I have rejected materialistic believes and pleasures. I have learnt to love myself. I have stopped looking for acceptance and approval from others. I have stopped hoping for better times to come.  I have started embracing life and all its aspects. Here and now is crucial. When worries and problems come I slow down and take a break but I don’t put myself down anymore. I release negativity through tears, get up and go. Most of all,  I allow my loved ones to be there for me. Shit comes, happens, goes and leaves us with new life lessons which enrich our lives. Although it’s been 5 years since I transformed my life I still learn and I won’t stop! 

Thich Nhat Hanh has taught me a lot with his full of wisdom writings. 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Mud-Lotus-Transforming-Suffering/dp/1937006859

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The Three Preying Monsters

Sadness, anxiety and binge eating, what a great trio, they exist together plotting each others crimes and planning to smother my mind in multiple ways. They are like two sisters and one brother, without a mother and a father who are long time gone in a mystery blow. They cherish and nurture their diabolical and dysfunctional family by injecting sewage of demoralised thoughts into my veins feeding their parasitic bodies. I’m still alive but the trio posses the licence to kill, they strangle their victims with a twisted distinction developed over the years and practised on innocent prey. The are deeply ingrained in victims’ minds, each attempt of their extermination ends with spurting blood from the casualties brains. Remember if you want to win this battle embrace your inner- self, accept who you are and apprehend your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t cling onto your hope, self- imposed denial or perfectionism!!!! 

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