Derangement

Surreal thoughts

So what ?

Derangement, my dearest friend of all, my 6th sense, my awkwardness, my last breath- you stimulate my creativity and open the gates to the other dimension only available to ‘chosen’.

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The Anxiety- my partner for life 2

Life is real

The venomous thoughts are creeping into my already fragile and destroyed mind. Their mission is to wrap themselves around remaining healthy cells and strangle them to death. I keep pushing them away as far as I can do but they keep coming back in the new form. They disguise themselves in various sophisticated ways. It’s easy to say – ‘Learn to live with it ‘ but to experience it on daily basis is bloody paralysing. It leaves you traumatised for good few minutes and you begin to question yourself about your sanity. But on the other hand there is beauty in it, without anxiety I wouldn’t be able to experience all sort of twisted emotions so I accept my partner for life and exist with it in peace.

Dear Dxxx

Surreal thoughts

Dear Dxxx,

My heart and your organ hurt everyday, the willing to get rid of them is tempting. I’ve got an idea, let’s do it, let’s rip them off and bury them in the ashes so we will be able to transform ourselves into distinguishable ZOMBIES without an excess luggage of feelings and side effects of blood clots and heartaches.

You see, a double personality feels like being an actress who plays a role she never wanted. You live doing your best but a part of you is withering like a beautiful rose but yet you have enough strength to fight. Unfortunately, you don’t resemble a rosette but a bloody dandelion with thorns. You wish to propagate but instead you spread in all places leaving a little space for others to blossom, so very few people like you because you intimidate most of them with your yellow origins. I hope there would be another magical, dark, and happier place to reside but that dwelling doesn’t exist unless we build it from scratch away from the wasteful civilization in the sinister and shady forest.

Do you want to join me? Think about it and let me know.

Love,

Axxx