Grey thoughts are blooming in my head like rotten apples dying in the tree. Drops of rain falling on my face keep me awake. I try to fall to sleep but I can’t because being in a coma doesn’t sound appealing to me at all. I don’t feel myself anymore. I’m just a machine who is programmed to live among other people. The last ounce of human carcass in my heart admires the nature. I’m sleepy and I’m tired. Goodnight Misery. Welcome blissful state of mind.
Don’t let other people ( even your family) to diminish your value. Stay strong and assertive in the reality created by you.
Rotten flesh that was left behind my deluded soul. Open wounds and neverending grief courtesy of mental paranormal activities. Unscattered exposed brain presented to the world in the most mesmerising way.
Don’t laugh at me.
Leave me alone.
You don’t understand me.
Don’t change me.
You’ve failed to do it mother.
Rage. Sadness. Anger. Why can’t you understand me? Perhaps you are trapped in your own world while feeding of others like a fucking parasite. Compensating me for your self-appaling ignorance materialisticly won’t console your guilty conscience.
Don’t laught at me.
Don’t ignore me.
Leave me alone.
Let me breath.
You don’t understand me.
Don’t change me.
You’ve failed to do it mother.
Surrounded by demonic potency of the Inner-Self I reach the Garden of Eden. I skipped the Purgatory.
Surprised?
Such an incessant matter of you being constantly unlucky and dissapointed in your own existence. I acquired freedom from my sins.
Don’t laugh at me.
Don’t ignore me.
Leave me alone.
Let me breath.
You don’t understand me.
You’ve failed to do it mother.
I won’t return your love because you were frozen when I needed you the most.
Stay strong….
You are stronger than you think. There are obstacles ahead of you but with faith in yourself and perseverence you are able to overcome them with great balance and pride.
When anxiety strikes…
This lovely picture of Meg depicts my facial expression when I’m engulfed in waves of anxiety while desperately trying to practise active meditation.
When you ever experience a wave of overwhelming anxiety caused by the past events which are stored in your wicked brain just let them float on the surface of fear and insecurity. It will sail away if you don’t fight it. If you try to push it back it will resist and stay with you longer than it should. Someone would call it a complete and utter misery but on the other hand it’s better to be miserable for short while, bear in mind, it’s only temporary and you won’t wilt like a sad dandelion without air and water but you blossom like a lilly.
I look at it as at a temporary shut down of the system due to an upgrade where few bugs need to…
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What can poor mental health do to you ?
Anxiety is a sneaky little bastard who happens to destroy you not only mentally but also physicaly.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time I was 18 years old and suffered from anxiety, panic attacks and hypochondria. After counting moles on my body, reading various articles about skin cancer and dragging myself to few dermatologists I decided it was time to find something new in my body to focus on. My breasts: ta- dah !!! I found something in my breast… oh God… it was time to shift my attention to the terrifying breast cancer. The same process repeated itself: various articles, sick feeling in my throat, checking my breasts few times a day to feel the lumps… I was convinced I had few tumours… but that time was different because I had also started experiencing headaches, chest, neck, breasts and back pains…that was it… My anxiety…
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I woke up from a state of pure hibernation which brought me over to true inspiration. The universe calls me to cleanse my soul. I’m ready and I need this meditation to be open for what’s about to come. My ebullient and perspicatious inner self has never abandoned me. I welcome spiritual & positive energy to overflow my shattered soul. I urge this beauty to assemble it back together. I shall thrive invincible and strong.
How to deal with toxic people….
You live your life fully, you think you are doing well, you have overcome so much, you are extremely proud of your strength and then baaam… one string of negative situations caused by the presence of a toxic person in your life brings you down to the very low ground. You feel, sad, lost and defeated. You have lost the joy of life and the sadness is eagerly devouring your self- confidence and self- esteem. If you could you would compare yourself to a whale who can’t swim and who is in the middle of the ocean drowning surrounded by active waves and ripples. You keep asking yourself- How does one human being can make you feel miserable? Deep inside, you know that they must be very unhappy with themselves and they simply take it out on you to make themselves feel better. You may pose as a strong person…
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Every little imperfection makes you a unique human being. You are strong enought to grow mentally, spiritually and physically by living your life actively and purposely. You focus on the positivity, this is your power, your strength. You can’t elimate certain negative vibes around your soul so you just coexist with the negativity in a clever way- you make it irrelevant to the point that it dissapears overtime. You remain true to yourself despite other people’s bulshit.
You are wiser.
You are stronger every single day ❤
I stood outside barefoot on the pricly concrete wondering where to go. The demise of my thoughts was tormeting my bruised and shattered soul. The pain pierced my heart and the sorrow buried my brain. They placed me in the cemetery for reclusive and self punished creatures. Still alive but in deep hibernation I thought I took my last breath. I didn’t have a poignant farewell, nobody celebrated my extinction. My only companion who stayed with me for better and worse was faithful SOLITUDE. It wasn’t a final chapter but a prequel to LIFE. I gathered shattered pieces and built my own garden of Eden laid on the foundations of ZEN. I cherish my acquired spiritual freedom every single day. I stand outside barefoot feeling soft, juicy green and wavy grass under my feet. I feel delighted and spoilt. The beautiful life continues.
anya786 