Hello

I have a confession to make lalala , I have a confession to make….. I’m obsessed with the bathtub …. I can’t get enough of sneaking in there and contemplating on my joyful existence. I occasionally stare at my Mummy & Daddy in the bathroom😂😂😂

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Hibernation

I am hibernating…. shhhhhh 😊

Insomnia

Insomnia happens when you are tired but your mind prevents you from sleeping. You lie down in bed for hours hoping to fall asleep yet you are not able to drift off into the sweet arms of lovable sweet state of hibernation. My advice is to …..fuck it- like this fella above. Just position yourself wherever you’ve  decided to sleep as comfortably as you can and wait for the sleep to come- you will eventually fall asleep and catch up with the lack of it during the following night. This works only for people who don’t  suffer from chronic insomnia and are not affected by major triggers which can caused a disturbed sleeping pattern ( medication, trauma etc.).

Rest

‘Allow me to rest and relax, I will get back to you when I’m ready.My soul needs to recuperate from existence. ‘ – said the wise cat…

Mr Mittens Von Bob on Mangos

Mr Mittens Von Bob has been thinking a lot. He still claims that he doesn’t know what happened to feathery bastards or Miss Chick Long Legs but he has few words to share with you all about MANGOS. Here we go…

 

Mr Mittens Von Bob-

‘ I had a friend – Michelle Von Smitten ( I took a photo of her against her will).  

She came over to my mansion with three suspiciously looking eggs. I was puzzled and dazzled by their beauty but appalled by their stench! It was such a pungent smell. At first, I acussed Michelle of blowing off- I said- Michelle you need to stop binging on pickled eggs because they make you pop! As much as you are dear to my heart I can’t stand the whiff of rotten cabbage entering my nostrils. Her reply was- What the fuck? I’m a self- proclaimed feminist and I can do whatever I want. I’m a liberated dog lady. I did not fart… the smell of gold you are sensing comes from these beauties ( she pointed at the golden eggs). I said- These are eggs…. are they pickled?! She answered-‘ They are MANGOS’ She went to cat- kitchen cupboard and opened it. She chose the biggest knife she could ever find and cut open three stinky eggs. I can’t remember what happened next as according to her I fainted and she needed to resuscitate me with my special catnip ( herbs and tobacco fellas). Since that moment my Lovers I hate MANGOS!!!!!!!!!

 

Yours truly best,

Mr Mittens Von Bob 

Edited with BlogPad Pro

Snowy Winter with Mr Mittens Von Bob

Once upon time Mr Mittens Von Bob was friends with all kinds of birds in his twisted mind. He joyfully  decided to visit his cousins- flying bastards by the bird feeder which was 10 metres away from a place he’d resided for years.

He packed his suitcase meticulously and took 10 minutes to actively meditate about his existence. 

He completed his brain awakening contemplations and said goodbyes to Miss Spotty Vajaj.

Mr Mittens Von Bob left the mansion carrying an enormous suitcase on his tiny back stuffed with muscles. He was helped by Henrik the friendly neighbour who used his super power hairy legs to please Mittens and make him feel purrrrrrrrrrrrr- gooodilicious.

After 10 minutes Mr Mittens Von Bob was out and about greeting his lively and non suspicious cousins… 

Something happenend, chirping and squeaking was heard, doomed silence creeped in to the village of the Shallow Pleasure. Mr Mittens Von Bob returned after 20 minutes and was awfully pleased with himself… 

Birds dissapeared… 

Miss Chick long legs also went missing…. 

If you have any information about missing featherly bastards please call : 666 666 666. You will be rewarded and blessed by the nature. 

😉 

My Sweet Dream

Dough balls made of flour, water, salt
and sugar previously mixed together into sticky mixture. I compare dough balls to the life of every human being. In my eyes, the existence begins similarly for all of us (except the privileges of using extra organic flour or double filtered liquid heaven in o2 state). We choose if we want to fry, steam, boil or roast our balls. We have the opportunity to pick the toppings- I like my balls with chocolate dots for a sweet addition among stupidity of others. Sometimes my batch of balls gets burnt but then I magically put myself together in to one whole piece (again) and cook another one. It’s like a vicious life cycle. I feel like a hamster trapped in a never ending spinning wheel. In my dream, I live in a wooden hut, decorated in a vintage style with natural materials, in the main room, there is a fireplace with two old, tactile  worn out armchairs, and a rug with shredded sides just in front of them. There are two cups of tea and coffee made in a peculiar way, carefully placed away from the edge of the trunk of an old tree which poses as a coffee table. I’m surrounded by sweet and wild nature in the company of my amazing man, cats presenting natural poise, and a confident German shepherd. I don’t serve anyone above me. I’m free like a bat chasing a mouse. I grow old peacefully and at the end I float out to serenity.