Maternity Leave Ends

Life is real

Maternity Leave Ends

Mental Health See-Saw

Going back to work after maternity leave fills me with dread and sorrow.  I’m not looking forward to being away from my daughter missing out on her developmental milestones during the day. I know she will be in good hands looked after by nan, myself and my partner but I’m her mother. I feel that it’s my responsibility to be there for my baby 24/7 no matter how monotonous it feels. If I could I would surely take more time off but I’m not able to. People say that it’s nice to have some time only to yourself, be able to drink a hot cup of tea/ coffee and chat to adults but it doesn’t sound appealing to me.  Unfortunately, I’m not elated by the prospect of willingly leaving my baby and running to work with open arms. I might change the way I feel about return to work after…

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Life is real

Parenthood Vs Life

Mental Health See-Saw

What was your life like before having children?

Many people would describe it as existence blossoming with freedom, blessed with blissful nights, financial liberation and self- centred approach.

I would say-  unappreciated HEAVEN.

What is your life like now?

My life appears as emotional mayhem filled with love & various responsibilities which I would not trade for anything else in the world. It’s a self- discovery journey often flooded with tears and laughter. I’m not perfect by any means, half of the time I may appear confident knowing what I’m doing but in my oh so caring, bum pinching reality I poop my pants with fear of not doing the right thing. I’m sure I’m not the only being on this planet who feels this way so CHEERS to PARENTHOOD and its PERKS.

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Pregnancy & Fear of the Future

Life is real

Are you pregnant and scared?

Mental Health See-Saw

Can’t you sleep?

Why do you wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety and worries looming over you.?

It’s so stresful to be pregnant and be awoken by the fear. Thinking about an upcoming labour doesn’t help. Being flooded by imaginative thoughts about your funeral based on childbirth are terrifying but absolutely normal.

What do you do to distract yourself and break the pattern of self-destructive thoughts?

Our brain never stops working and it processes thoughts 24/7. When the anxiety strikes it acts like a net which catches and traps a thought, we begin dwell on it, we realise that it’s unpleasant and we try to get rid of it as quickly as we can. The problem is that this newly captured thought could be compared to a tick who has already embedded itself in our skin. Pulling it out won’t solve the problem but it may…

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Religious Trap

Precious Experiences

What if you are stuck in the religious trap ?

Mental Health See-Saw

I have been through a lot, I have seen a lot and I have learnt a lot. What I have learnt about life is that it’s made of choices. We are decision makers not the Mighty God in heaven. Being brought up as a Roman Catholic I was always forced to believe that nothing is in my power, my destiny has been decided for me and I can’t do anything about it. I remember ( as a child) attending the mass at our local church and listening to a priest talking about sins, purgatory, hell and heaven. There was a set of rules to avoid further suffering after life ( the life is meant to be a nasty long trial which leads to heaven or hell) : confession, money donation, frequent church attendance, prayer, prayer, prayer and overwhelming fear of everything which might be considered evil ( because that surely…

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Precious Experiences

I work with children. I encourage their independence and creativity. I help them in being imaginative and explorative. I teach them that simplicity and minimalism can be a dynamic way to success. Life changes its pace  if we teach children to look within themselves and express their ideas through media, role- play, art & craft or music activities. It encourages them to link existing emotions with their wellbeing transferring it in to their everyday actions. They do it automatically realising positive and negative vibes through play. It has soothing and thereuptic effect on children as it balances their emotional state. It’s visible in their behaviour which is neither erratic or hyperactive but consistent. 

1. Favourite characters from the stories made of mighty clay

2. The Three Billy Goats Gruff and a handsome Troll

3. The pretty Red Riding Hood

4. Forest Creatures made of potatoes

5. The Enchanted Woodland made of lost & found objects and natural resources

6. An interesting interpretation of Kandinsky’s Concentric Circles

7. The Globe Trotters made of recyclable materials 


What Do I Wish For

Life is real

I wish for a family that would consist of a husband & children.

I wish for weekends together.

I wish for busy weekdays.

I wish for joyful Christmas celebrations. 

I wish for hectic birthday gatherings.

I wish for a group of people who would fill my heart with joy & happiness that comes from having a family. 

I’m patiently waiting for it and hope that one day I will be blessed with it. 

Children at School- Thoughts

The world

What I can’t stand is when children who have problems with conforming to the rules set at school are often left behind. I find it frustrating because I used to be in the similar position. I had been forced to sit down studying core subjects against my will, but if only someone had combined both- the compulsory material with my  big interest in music and art&craft, I feel like I would have “absorbed” material quicker without  rebelling so much.

Where I’m going with this…children’s interests and talents should be encouraged and developed because they are the future of this cruel world ruled by “greedy parasites”. Young people are unique individuals who deserve best from their lives. What saddens me is that in many state schools, there is not enough time to focus on children who need  “ an inventive and unconventional power push” in order to fascinate them with, for example, Maths; I myself remember this particular subject as a nightmare, I almost failed my final exams only because “my lovely teacher” had decided that there was no hope for me, being straightforward, that I was too stupid to comprehend algebra not mentioning fractions. I had become more anxious, I had cried a lot, started harming myself and isolating from others. My self- esteem spiralled down to the ground (I was only 16) and the world didn’t make any sense to me. When my English teacher noticed that there was something wrong with me she helped me, I begged her to not talk to the “Maths Monster” (I think she must have talked to that bitchy creature as it was her obligation to do it so), to make the long story short… My teacher helped me by looking at me as at individual, by listening to me, encouraging me and motivating me based on my strengths and weaknesses. She was the first person in my life who told me something which has stayed with me till this day: ” Remember, you can’t be good at everything , unless you are a flaming genius, always focus on your strengths and use them to conquer your weaknesses”, I use it as a motivation to get through the day, especially during difficult times.

I work in the primary school as a TA with 5 year old children, they are bundle of joy but I can already see that they are prone to different things. I have a mixture of unique human beings who are outgoing, shy, quiet, bubbly, mischievous, funny, clever, nervous, caring etc.
The weight of teaching the little and young ones of how to use their strengths to conquer the weaknesses lays on our shoulders….