Bullied Soul

Bullying.

Mental Health See-Saw

Poor and innocent teenage soul on the verge of suicide due to lack of acceptance. It’s a simple game – if you don’t fit in you loose. Brought up Christian, escaped neutral believer and remained scarred for life. Your brain is complex, if you are blessed with exceptional perception of the world then you are gifted and cursed at the same time. Why? Because you are considered to be a Highly Sensitive Person who is not understood or recognised by common society. You are spat at with labels: “Shy”, “Queit”, “Introvert” and all you want to scream is- ” Mind your fucking business, you self labelled all mighty extrovert.” You want to breath and be yourself but you find it very hard in this shallow and constantly preying for your mistakes world. You escape to God in fear or in a clearer state of mind to Inner- Self trying to…

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Mental Pain & Suicide

Don’t Suffer In Silence
LET IT OUT
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LIVE
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Mental Health See-Saw

I was raised as a person who was meant to follow the path of the Roman Catholic Church. I refused to adhere to it and as a result of my decision I faced fair amount of prejudice. When I was a teenager I searched for people who would soothe my battered soul and who would understand me.
Unfortunately, I searched and I experienced faiths but I didn’t find any fairness and understanding which I was looking for.
I do believe in God because it gives me comfort but I also follow my own path of being a decent human being. I adore Buddhism and its principles and values. I’m not a Buddhist and I will never label myself as one but Buddhism has a special place in my heart. It has helped me to understand the true beauty & meaning of life. Thich Nhat Hanh is my hero.
https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/
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Don’t Give Up

“It comes, it goes, sometimes its worse than other times but at the end of the day you will get over it” Samaritans – How we can Help The talk of taking ones life has hit my senses more…

Source: Don’t Give Up

Souls

Wounded, battered , confused and spaced out human beings who are commonly called – ‘outcasts’ by healthy members of the society seek refuge in nature connecting with the universe waiting to be taken back.  Beautiful souls who have never meant to exist in this word are forced in to human bodies.

They are born 

They exist 

They learn 

They embrace the beauty of life in an exentric way not understood by specialists

They die 

They are free again. 

Miss Thumbelina

I go to bed late at night. I’m shivering with cold. It’s strange because outside must be 666degrees. I get into my bed. The light is turned off. I drift into arms of unconsciousness putting  my overworked brain to rest. I dream about being in different places meeting childhood cartoon heros. I’m careless jumping from one petal onto another because I’m the size of Thumbelina. I see a lilly floating on the pond. I decide to get on it and fulfil a vision of freedom and recklessness. Nine toads come from the bush and gather around me. They push me. They throw twigs upon my hobbit like fury feet. They try really hard to make me trip over them. I shout at Ms Hare  who happens to be near by to help me. I jump onto her back and we hop and bounce over the rotted toad like slugs. I get off the hare and skip to the pond. I swim for a while and finally reach my lilly. Mission accomplished. 

The bipping sound of  the alarm clock wakes me up. It’s 6.00am. Work. Life. Death 

  

The Cave

I was taken away against my will. I was dragged  into the cave made of black thoughts and sorrow by my arch enemy. I was tortured with ice cold water and whips to give up happiness and embrace the emptiness which resides in the land of depression. My head was stuffed with evil dreams and the words  of death were put into my mouth. I  was coughing blood as my throat was wounded. My heart was pierced with a pointed wooden twig. It was worse than a cut open throat. I felt more pain and disappointment in my self because I let that mother of devil to rule my fallen world again.  I had been a hostage for two long days and nights. I freed myself. I used all of my remaining energy to leave my rotten body. I focused on the presence. I discovered, to my dismay, that it was me who decided to visit that evil cow. 

  

Mother Earth

I get off the tram, I walk past the cemetery with souls leaving and coming back to their eternal homes deep inside the Earth, I enter the dark and haunted park. I’m surrounded by wildlife. My heart fills with joy and tranquility. I forget about my troubles and worries. I allow Mother Earth to console me. 

   
    
 

Bullets

My soul has been shot 16666666666666666666666  times. The assassin Fate has used  bullets of life. It made me resilient and strong with an impending sense of mortality. 

Loneliness

Loneliness the unpleasant feeling of being left out and misunderstood. It drills a deep hole inside your heart leaving a hollow space which will never heal but scar within the passing time. Each year the hole gets deeper and sorer leaving you in peace.You adjust accordingly to the existing situation making plans and keeping yourself occupied at all times. You feel obliged to do that as this is the only thing that keeps you from acquiring a title of ‘The Mighty Looser’. You stop hoping for the best because life is a joke and it seems like it loves teasing you by shattering your dreams, kicking your wishes and slapping your will to live. You become prepare for the worst. In this way, you feel protected as what else can happen to you? Death? Well, that actually would be a relief. Life goes on same as pain, their companionship is strong as a rock and will never be broken. 

  

The Rusted Needle

I’m sowing my brain with the rusted needle as it has been ripped to shreds. I’m unable to open my eyes because I’m scared of what I might see. I still have an image stuck in my head of people spitting at me hateful comments. It’s hard when you don’t resemble the beauty icon with flawless complexion and lengthy lower limbs. I can hear a ripple of laughter running through the surrounding me crowd. I’m scared of dying but at the same time I wish to be gone. The uncertainty of the afterlife is keeping me alive but for how long? I don’t want my dreams to fade into oblivion therefore I pledge to fight my demons until I fall apart from exhaustion.