Sweet Talking

Keep sweet talking to me…

Mental Health See-Saw

I SEE
OH I SEE
THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE
OH WHAT A LOOK
THE ANGER I SEE
COULD MAKE FLESH COOK
BUT WHAT I HEAR
OH DEAR
WHAT I HEAR
YOU KEEP SWEET TALKING ME
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING COMING
THOSE SUGAR WORDS TASTE FOUL
AND I KNOW
THE PAST YOU TOOK
THE PRESENT YOU LOOK
AND THE FUTURE WON’T BE THE SAME
YOU KEEP SWEET TALKING ME
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING COMING
THOSE SUGARY VOWELS HOWL
THE PAST YOU TOOK
THE PRESENT YOU LOOK
AND THE FUTURE WON’T BE THE SAME

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Anxiety

This is how I picture anxiety- a grumpy & sneaky creature with no real power to destroy you except for manipulative nature which can influence your mind and  maliciously gnaw on it. 

My Mind

Sometimes my mind resembles  a nest of one milion tiny maggots who are vigourously trying to destroy it. 

Freedom

It’s only up to you of how you are going to handle the problems. You can either challenge yourself by looking at bothering you issues from a different perspective and transforming your fear into something positive just like this little fella above or stay a cattepilar throughout your whole existence making it almost unbearable.  

A Deluded Creature

How far can a deluded creature wander? Why does a deluded creature refuse to take responsibility for its own actions? It’s so easy to walk in circles justifying misery and own misfortune. A deluded creature finds preying on the lives of others very consoling and soothing. I can compare it  to feeding an unfulfilled beast inside their bodies. I’m saddened by the fact that a deluded creature refuses to take life in its hands and move on. It keeps spying on others,  blames those around them, rejects beauty of life and a miracle of their own family. A deluded creature keeps poisoning not only its own life but lives of people affected by its distorted thinking path. 

Being an adult means making decisions, being responsible and appreciating time left on this Earth attracting and embracing positive energy. It also means filtering people who enter and exit your life. Adults are capable of taking care of themselves. The skid mark of pain that resides in solitude can mentally affect anyone on this planet but it doesn’t take away your brain. If you crave for company occupy yourself, meet with friends & go out  (even for a walk). If you crave for love but don’t have anyone in your life call your Mum, Dad, Nan, a cousin, a niece or any existing relative and tell them how much you love them. If you have a child focus on your child. Your child is the most amazing human being who is your closest living relative and who loves you unconditionally. Respect your friends,  never let friendship to cross boundaries to become ‘friends with benefits’ crap, do you know why? Because you will most likely become intangled in it & hurt. There won’t be any guilty sides as you have never been forced into anything or foolishly promised sky coated clouds in marshmallows. 

I have been through a lot in my life. I have been taught a lot. I don’t consider myself broken or vulnerable ( as one deluded creature has insinuated). I bear the scars of my life experiences with pride and joy because they have made me of who I’m today- a strong and independent woman who embraces her life. My anxiety has always been my partner for life- my dear puppet- yet we’ve made it work in a way that has helped me and other fighters who refuse to give up same as me. At this point in my life I’m ready for a grown up relationship that will lead to start my own family of bears. I have been lucky enough to find and be blessed with a life partner and a soulmate who is ready for and wants the same thing. We both learn from our strong points & imperfections. 

A state of being a deluded creature who is slowly changing in to a rotting leech is changeable and it’s only up to that poor deluded creature to start taking care of its own life leaving its past behind focusing on the present moment.

Just a wonder

When I lose a grip you are there holding me tight and making me feel better. Sometimes I wonder of how long you are going to be around bearing me and my demons but then I remind myself of how blessed I’m to have you in my life🌕❤️🌕

  

Possesed by Demons

There is time in the month when I become possesed by demons. I loose rational thinking. I’m stuck in the barrel of destructive and overwhelming madness. I feel like a pig waiting to be slaughtered by malicious power from the universe . I see people using  ploys just to get their ways. Few days pass and demons  depart to unknown. They come back few weeks later. See you….

  

The Rusted Needle

I’m sowing my brain with the rusted needle as it has been ripped to shreds. I’m unable to open my eyes because I’m scared of what I might see. I still have an image stuck in my head of people spitting at me hateful comments. It’s hard when you don’t resemble the beauty icon with flawless complexion and lengthy lower limbs. I can hear a ripple of laughter running through the surrounding me crowd. I’m scared of dying but at the same time I wish to be gone. The uncertainty of the afterlife is keeping me alive but for how long? I don’t want my dreams to fade into oblivion therefore I pledge to fight my demons until I fall apart from exhaustion.