Fear of Motherhood

Life is real

How to hope with the fear of motherhood?

Mental Health SeeSaw

Congratulations if you are pregnant.

If you are trying to conceive- Good Luck.

If you are thinking to conceive but are flooded with fear and doubts my advice to you is: go for it, there is never a perfect time or an opportunity to have a child. Life is full of hurdles so if you really want fo bring a new life into this twisted but wonderful world just do it.

Life without a child as a couple is very convenient. You are solely responsible for yourselves, indulging in existence is joyful and planning expenses is much easier because you don’t bear the burden of making sure that a tiny human being who is not capable of sustaining their basic needs entirely relies on your physical, mental and financial support. I’m going to be brutally honest with you, as a mum to be, I’m terrified of that whole new sense…

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Festivities of Annoyance

Motivational Blib Blob

During this pre-festive period there a many people who are willing to play a tune of annoyance to you. Each of them is very, very unique and individual. They just know how to strike a chord to irritate you and make you feel like you want to rip the hair off your head. My advice to you is to actively meditate. The active meditation is made of conscious presence in the reality and ignorance of stupidity happening around you.

For instance, I like to switch off and focus on my Christmas tree. I admire the ornaments, their colours, a tree and its needles. I find it therapeutic and calming.

But still… why is the world full of twats?

Pregnant Mental Chaos

Precious Experiences

First hand experience of pregnant mental chaos…

Mental Health SeeSaw

When you are trying for a baby and you are first time parent you read a lot, you anticipate and imagine what’s going to be like to carry a child under your heart and give birth to them. You go through different scenarious, you even dare to think that you are strong enough to be in control of your body & mind throughout the whole pregnancy and others who can’t cope are weak attention seekers.

You do a pregnancy test and you find out that you are in fact pregnant. You are overwhelmed and overjoyed with this wonderful news. You can’t believe your own eyes so you take one, two, three, four tests to just make sure that you are REALLY pregnant. You find a group of women on the internet who advise you that it’s best to control the raising level of pregnancy hormone by purchasing three digital pregnancy…

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Mental Cloud

Motivational Blib Blob

How to live with a mental cloud above your head ?

Mental Health SeeSaw

When the mental cloud of being idle comes and grabs your soul making you feel worthless, miserable and unprepared for a day ahead don’t think about yourself in a negagive way. Instead pull through the day by following a list. A to do list is a simple but efficient way of putting your day in order. It doesn’t need to be written down it can stay in your head ( if it doesn’t cause you mentally too much pressure). After ticking one task off the list you will feel a sense of relief and on the top of that you will experience a wave of relaxing sensation. The relaxing sensation derives from the fact that you have made yourself occupied with something else apart from your problems. Putting it in a simpler way you’ve given your mind a well deserved break and you are experiencing benefits of it.

The hardest…

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Bumpy Bump

Precious Experiences

The truth about pregnancy.

Mental Health SeeSaw

Before getting pregnant I thought I knew everything about the whole pregnancy thing. I thought I was prepared and had it all figured all. Surprise, surprise I’ve been unprepared not only for a load of physical symptoms but also for mental health overload.

It feels like I’ve been on a rollercoaster which never slows down, never stops but constantly accelerates. I barely have control over it but I still need to hold it together. Which I do but it’s heck of a challenge.

What do I do to help myself?

First of all, I’ve been talking about my feelings and emotions out loud. I find it very therapeutic to be able to share them with my partner Ian.

Secondly, I’ve been taking it easy when I need by using coping techniques from active meditation. The active meditation is all about being aware of the present moment and focusing on breathing.

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Shocking !!!

Motivational Blib Blob

Shocking but truthful…

Mental Health SeeSaw

Is it shocking that at times I need some space ?

Is it shocking that after a day of dealing with people I need some time to recover?

Is it shocking that I’m an extremely straighforward and introverted person who values communication more than anything?

Is it shocking that I keep distance from people whom I don’t trust?

Is it shocking that I reject to conform to society standards of everyday living and interaction?

I am who I am and I appreaciate being the solely and only real version of myself.

Are you real?

Have you beaten yourself up of not fitting socially to a group of peers?

Have you tried to change yourself to the point of loosing your identity?

Have you changed yourself for someone in order to please them?

My pledge to you today is to not change anything about yourself for one day. Take a piece…

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Cranberry Juice in Pregnancy World

Life is real

Pregnancy & mental health

Mental Health SeeSaw

I’m pregnant and I suffer from anxiety. I drink cranberry juice instead of gin. I do miss the mighty gin.

Two days ago I felt like my world came crushing down because I have experienced the worst anxiety and panic attack in years. It resulted for me in sobbing and weeping uncontrollably for two days. I convinced myself that my fiance would die in the car accident, that my mother would die due to the heart attack caused by long term family problems, that my father would go back to abusing alcohol and that my brother would commit suicide while being incarcerated. My head felt fuzzy, I was in a daze, it felt like something clicked in my brain and pushed me towards realms of depression. In the past, I allowed myself to slip in to deceiving arms of depression from anxiety and panic attacks periods. I know how this…

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Pregnancy Brain

Life is real

Pregnancy is a strange mental and physical state. All of the sudden you feel like some alien force has taken over every single thing you were previously in charge of. If I could compare my brain to an object I would happily compare it to this partially burnt gate called ‘Franky’ who proudly poses for the picture. I’m not saying that a pregnancy is not a miracle- it’s a miraculous and wonderful but freaky occurrence which sucks up every ounce of your energy you’ve had spared leaving you functioning like a Zombie. And yes, every pregnancy is different, some find it easy, some find it difficult and some loose the will to live. I stick with the third option. They say it will pass, it will get easier… Will it really? As far as I know I’m growing a human being inside my body and soon I will be responsible for their entire life until they mature. While I feel rotten to the core I embrace my partially burned and scorched pregnancy brain. Yes, I still manage to find happiness in my newly given sweet and wonderful misery 😊

Hibernation

Motivational Blib Blob

I woke up from a state of pure hibernation which brought me over to true inspiration. The universe calls me to cleanse my soul. I’m ready and I need this meditation to be open for what’s about to come. My ebullient and perspicatious inner self has never abandoned me. I welcome spiritual & positive energy to overflow my shattered soul. I urge this beauty to assemble it back together. I shall thrive invincible and strong.