Festivities of Annoyance

During this pre-festive period there a many people who are willing to play a tune of annoyance to you. Each of them is very, very unique and individual. They just know how to strike a chord to irritate you and make you feel like you want to rip the hair off your head. My advice to you is to actively meditate. The active meditation is made of conscious presence in the reality and ignorance of stupidity happening around you.

For instance, I like to switch off and focus on my Christmas tree. I admire the ornaments, their colours, a tree and its needles. I find it therapeutic and calming.

But still… why is the world full of twats?

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Calling of the Inner-Voice

The tune of my soul is sort of psychodelic and atmospheric which makes the whole song orgasmic and that’s what I look for in music, music for me has always been a kind of drug which can take over your brain making the reality more bereable for the duration of the song ( at least).

I usually keep this part of myself locked tightly in the box in the corner of my mind. This part should remain open because it’s a vital piece of my Inner- Self and the Inner- Self is mainly who I really Am- the Inner- Self is my unscattered soul. I have conformed to the rules of society to stay afloat in order to survive and build a fort which would protect me from people who don’t understand me. My soul is wild and relies on the artistic stimulants, it craves nature, looks for the meaning of life which resides in Buddhism, it misses howling wolves in the deep dark wild woods, the true home is out there in the middle of greenery covered with the blanket of dew drops among the crimson red twigs which joyfully pierce my shattered soul preparing it for eternal rest where it belongs.

You are Stronger than You Think

Stay strong….

Mental Health SeeSaw

You are stronger than you think. There are obstacles ahead of you but with faith in yourself and perseverence you are able to overcome them with great balance and pride.

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Cranberry Juice in Pregnancy World

Pregnancy & mental health

Mental Health SeeSaw

I’m pregnant and I suffer from anxiety. I drink cranberry juice instead of gin. I do miss the mighty gin.

Two days ago I felt like my world came crushing down because I have experienced the worst anxiety and panic attack in years. It resulted for me in sobbing and weeping uncontrollably for two days. I convinced myself that my fiance would die in the car accident, that my mother would die due to the heart attack caused by long term family problems, that my father would go back to abusing alcohol and that my brother would commit suicide while being incarcerated. My head felt fuzzy, I was in a daze, it felt like something clicked in my brain and pushed me towards realms of depression. In the past, I allowed myself to slip in to deceiving arms of depression from anxiety and panic attacks periods. I know how this…

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Thrive

Thrive like this nettle despite the bulshit happening around you.

Pregnancy Blues

I’m taking it easy today because my mind and body need it desperately to produce more energy in order to thrive in life with my lovely little family 💖💖💖

Anxiety & Active Meditation

When anxiety strikes…

Mental Health SeeSaw

This lovely picture of Meg depicts my facial expression when I’m engulfed in waves of anxiety while desperately trying to practise active meditation.

When you ever experience a wave of overwhelming anxiety caused by the past events which are stored in your wicked brain just let them float on the surface of fear and insecurity. It will sail away if you don’t fight it. If you try to push it back it will resist and stay with you longer than it should. Someone would call it a complete and utter misery but on the other hand it’s better to be miserable for short while, bear in mind, it’s only temporary and you won’t wilt like a sad dandelion without air and water but you blossom like a lilly.

I look at it as at a temporary shut down of the system due to an upgrade where few bugs need to…

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Determination

Sometimes I become like this grasshopper/ cricket on the windscreen. I do it due to my sacred determination to dissect the monotony of life. I believe the most boring existence has been created solely by its owner choosing to be as miserable and idle as possible. Open the window to your soul and let some of the sunshine in !!!

What Can Poor Mental Health Do to You?

What can poor mental health do to you ?

Mental Health SeeSaw

Anxiety is a sneaky little bastard who happens to destroy you not only mentally but also physicaly.

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time I was 18 years old and suffered from anxiety, panic attacks and hypochondria. After counting moles on my body, reading various articles about skin cancer and dragging myself to few dermatologists I decided it was time to find something new in my body to focus on. My breasts: ta- dah !!! I found something in my breast… oh God… it was time to shift my attention to the terrifying breast cancer. The same process repeated itself: various articles, sick feeling in my throat, checking my breasts few times a day to feel the lumps… I was convinced I had few tumours… but that time was different because I had also started experiencing headaches, chest, neck, breasts and back pains…that was it… My anxiety…

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Life is a Journey

The journey which has welcomed a new cat and a little bubba growing inside me. Our family is expanding.

Mittens is beginning to get along with our new Italian female gangster Meg. Meg is very playful and looks forward to Mittens joining in her hyperactive ventures around the house. He is still a bit reluctant.

I’m slowly adjusting to pregnancy symptoms and trying to stay awake ( especially in the middle of the day 😅🤣). Ian has been very helpful trying to accomodate my needs and reminding me that I do need to slow down a bit.