The truth about pregnancy.
Before getting pregnant I thought I knew everything about the whole pregnancy thing. I thought I was prepared and had it all figured all. Surprise, surprise I’ve been unprepared not only for a load of physical symptoms but also for mental health overload.
It feels like I’ve been on a rollercoaster which never slows down, never stops but constantly accelerates. I barely have control over it but I still need to hold it together. Which I do but it’s heck of a challenge.
What do I do to help myself?
First of all, I’ve been talking about my feelings and emotions out loud. I find it very therapeutic to be able to share them with my partner Ian.
Secondly, I’ve been taking it easy when I need by using coping techniques from active meditation. The active meditation is all about being aware of the present moment and focusing on breathing.
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Pregnancy & mental health
I’m pregnant and I suffer from anxiety. I drink cranberry juice instead of gin. I do miss the mighty gin.
Two days ago I felt like my world came crushing down because I have experienced the worst anxiety and panic attack in years. It resulted for me in sobbing and weeping uncontrollably for two days. I convinced myself that my fiance would die in the car accident, that my mother would die due to the heart attack caused by long term family problems, that my father would go back to abusing alcohol and that my brother would commit suicide while being incarcerated. My head felt fuzzy, I was in a daze, it felt like something clicked in my brain and pushed me towards realms of depression. In the past, I allowed myself to slip in to deceiving arms of depression from anxiety and panic attacks periods. I know how this…
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Thrive like this nettle despite the bulshit happening around you.
My heart is fully devoted to all four seasons equally welcoming them with open arms !!! Crispy, fresh, humid feel in the air of Autumn makes me feel alive.
Can you spot a frog?
I’m taking it easy today because my mind and body need it desperately to produce more energy in order to thrive in life with my lovely little family 💖💖💖
When anxiety strikes…
This lovely picture of Meg depicts my facial expression when I’m engulfed in waves of anxiety while desperately trying to practise active meditation.
When you ever experience a wave of overwhelming anxiety caused by the past events which are stored in your wicked brain just let them float on the surface of fear and insecurity. It will sail away if you don’t fight it. If you try to push it back it will resist and stay with you longer than it should. Someone would call it a complete and utter misery but on the other hand it’s better to be miserable for short while, bear in mind, it’s only temporary and you won’t wilt like a sad dandelion without air and water but you blossom like a lilly.
I look at it as at a temporary shut down of the system due to an upgrade where few bugs need to…
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Sometimes I become like this grasshopper/ cricket on the windscreen. I do it due to my sacred determination to dissect the monotony of life. I believe the most boring existence has been created solely by its owner choosing to be as miserable and idle as possible. Open the window to your soul and let some of the sunshine in !!!
What can poor mental health do to you ?
Anxiety is a sneaky little bastard who happens to destroy you not only mentally but also physicaly.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time I was 18 years old and suffered from anxiety, panic attacks and hypochondria. After counting moles on my body, reading various articles about skin cancer and dragging myself to few dermatologists I decided it was time to find something new in my body to focus on. My breasts: ta- dah !!! I found something in my breast… oh God… it was time to shift my attention to the terrifying breast cancer. The same process repeated itself: various articles, sick feeling in my throat, checking my breasts few times a day to feel the lumps… I was convinced I had few tumours… but that time was different because I had also started experiencing headaches, chest, neck, breasts and back pains…that was it… My anxiety…
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I woke up from a state of pure hibernation which brought me over to true inspiration. The universe calls me to cleanse my soul. I’m ready and I need this meditation to be open for what’s about to come. My ebullient and perspicatious inner self has never abandoned me. I welcome spiritual & positive energy to overflow my shattered soul. I urge this beauty to assemble it back together. I shall thrive invincible and strong.