A Wondering Mind of a Pregnant Woman

Have you ever had a wandering mind?

Mental Health See-Saw

My mind often wonders in the most peculiar way. I contemplate about things which have taken place and possibilities which may occur. Recently, what has surprised me the most is the fact that I don’t enjoy my mother being nice and supportive towards me or rather towards her unborn grandaughter. I should be happy about her current state of mind but I’m not. It makes me angry and furious. She hasn’t been there for me when I needed her so why would I need her now!? I’ve been left to deal with the abusive marriage and ex years ago on my own. She decided to step back and focus on my ever so adoring brother and his ex partner. She wasn’t nowhere to be found? She never really took an interest in me as in an individual. I haven’t seen her for over six years and the fact that she…

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Rainbow

If you can’t see the rainbow after the storm make one yourself. The fortune is in your own hands and awaiting your approval !!!

Living in Pain

Every step I take brings me excrutiating pain. I move my body and I experience shattered glass lodged tightly in my back. I remain active despite the pain which makes me question myself-

Am I warrior?

or

Just a stupidly stubborn person who doesn’t give up but pull through the pain.

I’ve honestly had enough being physically restricted by neverending sensation of stubbing in my back.

I also found a new respect for people who suffer from chronic conditions which are accompanied by the pain. This pregnancy has been truly a humbling experience. It’s made me realise that the feeling of being tired is nothing to complain about where there are milions of people who are limited physicaly or bed ridden.

The picture above represents me in pain caused by sciatica. It portrays the current mood, the colour of it and struggles associated with it.

Eating Disorder Prior to Pregnancy

Mental self help for people suffered from an eating disorder prior to pregnancy.

Mental Health See-Saw

You suffered from an eating disorder in the past, you successfully conquered it and moved on with your life but fell pregnant. How would you feel about your body if it started rapidly changing, if you were loosing control over your appearance and panicking about how quickly digits on a weighing scale increase in numbers. It’s a complete, utter and heartbreaking time which suppose to be filled with happy memories.

Are you being irrational?

Yes !!!

Why?

Because everyone knows that the body of an pregnant individual goes through the hormonal storm and a physical transformation. It’s a miracle and a real test of endurance for a person who suffered from an eating disorder in the past.

You are no longer in control and the lack of it puts you down and makes you feel anxious. It’s a truly complicated and tricky situation which causes so much fear and anxiety…

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Body Image in Pregnancy

Body positivity during pregnancy.

Mental Health See-Saw

Body image is such a sensitive subject. You go through different stages in life and your body changes. I could compare it to a flower. When you are a baby you are like a bud then you pace through the mayhem of puberty and you begin to blossom. When you enter adulthood you are blooming with your uniqueness and personal beauty. You may bear scars and marks presented to you by the mighty existence but you are still exceptionally beautiful.

The individual perception of one’s appearance is another matter. You can be an astoundingly stunning lilly but in your own eyes you may look like a wilted and chewed by cats dandelion. You work on your body, you treat it as a temple by eating healthy and working out but….

What if you are physically restricted?

What if your body has been rapidly changing and you don’t have any control…

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Pregnancy & Fear of the Future

Are you pregnant and scared?

Mental Health See-Saw

Can’t you sleep?

Why do you wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety and worries looming over you.?

It’s so stresful to be pregnant and be awoken by the fear. Thinking about an upcoming labour doesn’t help. Being flooded by imaginative thoughts about your funeral based on childbirth are terrifying but absolutely normal.

What do you do to distract yourself and break the pattern of self-destructive thoughts?

Our brain never stops working and it processes thoughts 24/7. When the anxiety strikes it acts like a net which catches and traps a thought, we begin dwell on it, we realise that it’s unpleasant and we try to get rid of it as quickly as we can. The problem is that this newly captured thought could be compared to a tick who has already embedded itself in our skin. Pulling it out won’t solve the problem but it may…

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Fear of Motherhood

How to hope with the fear of motherhood?

Mental Health See-Saw

Congratulations if you are pregnant.

If you are trying to conceive- Good Luck.

If you are thinking to conceive but are flooded with fear and doubts my advice to you is: go for it, there is never a perfect time or an opportunity to have a child. Life is full of hurdles so if you really want fo bring a new life into this twisted but wonderful world just do it.

Life without a child as a couple is very convenient. You are solely responsible for yourselves, indulging in existence is joyful and planning expenses is much easier because you don’t bear the burden of making sure that a tiny human being who is not capable of sustaining their basic needs entirely relies on your physical, mental and financial support. I’m going to be brutally honest with you, as a mum to be, I’m terrified of that whole new sense…

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Pregnant Mental Chaos

First hand experience of pregnant mental chaos…

Mental Health See-Saw

When you are trying for a baby and you are first time parent you read a lot, you anticipate and imagine what’s going to be like to carry a child under your heart and give birth to them. You go through different scenarious, you even dare to think that you are strong enough to be in control of your body & mind throughout the whole pregnancy and others who can’t cope are weak attention seekers.

You do a pregnancy test and you find out that you are in fact pregnant. You are overwhelmed and overjoyed with this wonderful news. You can’t believe your own eyes so you take one, two, three, four tests to just make sure that you are REALLY pregnant. You find a group of women on the internet who advise you that it’s best to control the raising level of pregnancy hormone by purchasing three digital pregnancy…

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You are Stronger than You Think

Stay strong….

Mental Health See-Saw

You are stronger than you think. There are obstacles ahead of you but with faith in yourself and perseverence you are able to overcome them with great balance and pride.

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Hypocrite due to Difficulties

Hypocrite due to difficulties….

Mental Health See-Saw

I often talk about the benefits and healing properties of active meditation. I’m known of giving tips and advice how to succesful free your mind from tge realms of ovewhelming stress.

I’d always thought that I had it perfectly mastered. Oh, how I was wrong. Today, I needed to go outside to relax and collect my thoughts due to being under stress. I decided that it was a perfect opportunity to activately meditate. I tried it and I failed. My mind was so occupied with anxiety and negative predictions that it felt like it was being devoured by an alligator.

I had stopped it and insted focused on a picture on the fence. I stared at it and breathed for good 2-3 minutes letting my thoughts flow with its own pace. Afterwards, I didn’t feel completely resurrected but partially alive which was enough for me to funcion.

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