Mould it, Shape it

Surreal thoughts

I open the door… off I go… I go back to my inner- self. The nature is calling me, I want to abandon the necessities of existence and embrace the simplicity of my own immaculately woven world- made of intricate loops joined together in a chain of bitter happiness.

Is anxiety a curse or a gift? Maybe both. I was born this way, cursed or gifted? Incurable disease- they would call it many years ago, they would lock you up in the mental institution for being different? What has changed now? The fact that you are different, you can shape it and mould it the way you like. If you look for an affordable mental counseling from the government you won’t receive it unless you are border line suicidal. Cutting costs, you are just a number in the system. Shape it, mould it, live it.


Ms Beetle & Mr Mittens are Goldilocks Exterminators

Surreal thoughts


This is what word looks like from Ms Bettle and Mr Mittens’ point of view. Ms Bettle is of a female hormonal kind. She lives in the cosy spot with Mr Mittens somewhere in the middle of the meadow in the big city surrounded by parks. They both enjoy soft tunes of the wind, breezy mornings and neighbours of different species- one of them is called Tony, a giant goose who drops everything he tries to carry with the loud- BANG & BOOM. They both admire nature and speak softly about the existence. They both suffer from  flactulence from over frequent consumption of dairy. She is a little philosopher who doesn’t give a fuck about the materialistic world but appreciates simplicity and surrealism which is present in everyday life.  He is unique himself with wild & sarcastic sense of humour. He is intelligent and bases his contemplations and thoughts on scientific and everyday life knowledge. Ms Bettle & Mr Mittens complete eachother and complement eachother’s quirks and super-special powers.






Precious Experiences

A little tiny dwarf keeps digging holes in the ground to bury other dwarves’ accidental poops.  They poop, let her know about the fresh & smelly delivery and expect her to get rid of the turd. The tiny creature considers them to be her friends but for some strange reason they are nowhere to be seen when she has a toilet situation to be assisted with. She thinks she helps them but she doesn’t know that they take advantage of her caring nature. It’s easy to fall into the trap of exploiting dwarves. 

Few years ago, I thought doing a lot for others would help me to fill my life with pisitive people. I was very wrong. I filled my life not with the happy & loving beings but preying piranhas. It took me a while to realise the cause of my misery. When I did it I knew that I needed to work on my assertiveness and self- worth. It helped. Don’t be that little miss, be assertive and look after yourself. 

A Crimson Razor Blade

Surreal thoughts


In my dream, I was attached to a crimson razor blade, I had used it to commit suicide in order to get into purgatory to hang out with my relatives and friends. Each time,  I had miraculously resurrected  my remains from the dead by running away from the light in the tunnel. I had  also worked with my dear sharp friend to relieve the anger and fear. I must admit, it was very easy to use, a little malicious bastard knew how to kill the pain instantly through breaking the surface of skin tissue, going straight to the core of a problem.

What happened to the blood, it must have spurted all over the place?  ‘No’, the manipulative moron replied- ‘Your blood was drained off to avoid any unnecessary mess in my decaying shed. You have become an obedient creature who is going to live under my conditions….’

I don’t know, I start to panic,

What to do?

What to do? Mum, help me?

I wake up drenched in sweat. Am I afraid of mental pain which never goes away, solitude, or eternal unhappiness?

I pledge to flout convention, reject tradition, and dwell in my own world.

The Skull

Surreal thoughts

I opened a little white draw and I’ve found a skull with a broken nose. Tears were pouring down the white and beautiful skinless cheekbones.
“My Love”, I said,- ” I thought, I’ve lost You forever, the world seems to be worthless without you….”
After that, I cried, cried and cried until I couldn’t catch my breath. I wanted to suffocate badly to stop feeling the pain which was bursting with flames inside me. My pure intention was to release the scream which was trapped inside my chest, so I made a very brave decision to cut my non- royal veins but after I familiarised myself with the ‘side effects’ of that sinful action I said to my dear pale friend- “…no… look, I’ve found you and I won’t let you go because I’m scared of ending my pitiful existence due to the unknown future.
What happens with the soul when it evaporates into thin air?
I acquired a piece of leather and I am going it to sew it onto your silky white surface to make you mine… We will travel around the world, we will see the beautiful things, listen to the orchestra…. We will make new acquaintances with THEM.

Skulls…fragile and beautiful boxes of precious minds.

The Journey

Surreal thoughts

Stained fingers by leaking black treacly ink. Disappointment and confusion caused by an empty pen. Ink dries like varnish on the steep stairs making it easy to reach the top without hardships of life.  

Young, exuberant and fearless me… I enjoy every second of glory paired with admiration from others.

I’m surrounded by loving “ticks”, I’ve forgotten FELLOW SOULS, and abandoned them mercilessly. What a fool of me?!

Thankful to the CREATOR, I express eternal gratitude for my superior life – I’m finally living my dream!!!

Suddenly, my heart slowly stops beating, I try screaming but what comes out is a squeaky sound. 
I fall down, down to the bottom of the shiny almost newly ink coated stairs. I crack my skull open, I drown in a pool my own blood gasping for air. 

FELLOW SOULS appear hearing my yelping. They pick up my lifeless corpse gazing at it with pity.

Oh Lord… Bless them as they take a good care in the name of old times.