I spotted this vase today in one of the charity shops. I was taken by its delicate design and vivid colours. My partner saw it and simply bought it for me. It made me smile as little things like that are what matters.
There is nothing worse than to comprehend the betrayal of someone whom you trusted the most. Especially if you regarded that person to be your ‘soulmate’. You desperately justify their behaviour trying to explain it. You link it to their imperfections , flaws, problems or quirks. You don’t want to let go because you are scared of loosing them as human beings who brought light or happiness into your life especially if your existence had been under a thick layer of misfortune for a long time.
When you realise that you can’t continue being ‘in the picture’ because it’s too hurtful for you… you leave… but it feels like a part of you died… The closest creature with whom you’ve had the strongest and the most intense connection and who have motivated you to reach for more has gone forever.
You feel the physical pain inside you, it feels like your heart is cut and about to burst, your head explode and your stomach tear apart. Your throat tightens and you want to scream and cry at the same time. You have a floating thought inside your head of dying here & now to soothe the unbearable pain. You feel so scared, saddened, hurt and lost like a dog which was thrown out of the car to be abandoned in the middle of nowhere.
What does your ‘ soulmate’ do? Do they suffer like you do? Or go about with their lives like nothing has happened?
If you truly love someome nothing else matters therefore it’s very easy to loose a sense of ‘self- worth’ and ‘self-care’ in the name of shared issues.
Don’t be afraid to walk away if you have reached your limit and have understood the whole situation objectively. You have not been defeated, you’ve done your best out of your love, care and devotion. You’ve showed your ‘soulmate’ the real goodness that comes from love and that is a wonderful lesson for them which they may never understand. You protect your inner self by removing yourself from their life and moving on. If you wish them good it shows how humble and pure your love has been and how strong you are as a person.
Remember everything happens for a reason. You’ve learnt a lot from this journey same as your ‘soulmate’. The difference is that you are aware of your newly acquired knowledge and they may never be.
Time heals wounds, you won’t forget it, it will sting but it will get better…. you will learn how to live with it. Life will enrich you with new experiences.
You are amazing :*
Sometimes I feel like my life appears to be a cracked glass which falls apart into tiny pieces every time I have something really positive in my existence. I can present you with multiple examples of what I’ve had and what I’ve lost- I count all- human beings, my self- development, faith, self- confidence, purpose of life and material possessions. But what for?
Everyone says, it’s normal to be kicked in the butt, well, they also claim that each time you fail you need to pick up your ‘carcass’ and start your ‘puzzle game’ all over again because it’s all about performance.
So here I am… sewing my brain and heart with the rusted needle just to give it ‘another go’