Depression

When you fall apart, pick up the broken pieces, clean up, take your time to heal and move on. Life goes on so are you & your Inner- Self. 

Remember, don’t rush… give yourself enough time to recover- 1 day, 1 week, 1 month , 1 year… Being hurt, loosing someone who was your partner or a family member, having a broken heart due to abandonment, loosing a job  or simply falling into a whirlpool of depression caused by the pressure of modern life have one thing in common- the need of time to heal. 

You are wonderful human being and even though it may not seem like it right now…life will get better as constant is only change 😊 Don’t give up and talk out loud about your feelings and emotions. 

I’m here to listen.  

Today

Today was rather difficult, not because something bad happened but because my brain decided not to cooperate with me and instead changed in to mushy porridge. It was very difficult for me to do anything I had planned for today. I think I coped well because I didn’t stay idle and I managed to follow my plans in a less productive way,meaning- I took it easy and followed my mighty instinct to slow down. 

The key to living with anxiety is to know your mind & body well. If you are able to pick up the signs and symptoms of an upcoming period or attack then it means you are a well trained warrior. The next step is to be able to move on past the attack in a non mentally harmful way. I had spent years emotionally beating myself up for  having a worse or post stressful reaction day ( sometimes it lasts 2- 3 days) but I stopped when I realised I was only slowing down the recovery process. I try to keep active and busy as much as I can, when I have a worse day I simply hit the breaks  but I still get few planned things done. 

Listen to your body & mind, be in tune with it and most of all don’t reject your inner-self because this is where you get the warning signals from of an upcoming panic or anxiety episode. Live your life to the fullest and treat your mental condition as a special addition. I call mine – a partner for life 😉 

https://anya786.wordpress.com/2015/10/12/the-anxiety-my-partner-for-life-2/

A Crimson Razor Blade

In my dream, I was attached to a crimson razor blade, I had used it to commit suicide in order to get into purgatory to hang out with my relatives and friends. Each time,  I had miraculously resurrected  my remains from the dead by running away from the light in the tunnel. I had  also worked with my dear sharp friend to relieve the anger and fear. I must admit, it was very easy to use, a little malicious bastard knew how to kill the pain instantly through breaking the surface of skin tissue, going straight to the core of a problem.

What happened to the blood, it must have spurted all over the place?  ‘No’, the manipulative moron replied- ‘Your blood was drained off to avoid any unnecessary mess in my decaying shed. You have become an obedient creature who is going to live under my conditions….’

I don’t know, I start to panic,

What to do?

What to do? Mum, help me?

I wake up drenched in sweat. Am I afraid of mental pain which never goes away, solitude, or eternal unhappiness?

I pledge to flout convention, reject tradition, and dwell in my own world.