Pregnant Mental Chaos

Precious Experiences

First hand experience of pregnant mental chaos…

Mental Health SeeSaw

When you are trying for a baby and you are first time parent you read a lot, you anticipate and imagine what’s going to be like to carry a child under your heart and give birth to them. You go through different scenarious, you even dare to think that you are strong enough to be in control of your body & mind throughout the whole pregnancy and others who can’t cope are weak attention seekers.

You do a pregnancy test and you find out that you are in fact pregnant. You are overwhelmed and overjoyed with this wonderful news. You can’t believe your own eyes so you take one, two, three, four tests to just make sure that you are REALLY pregnant. You find a group of women on the internet who advise you that it’s best to control the raising level of pregnancy hormone by purchasing three digital pregnancy…

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Religious Trap

Precious Experiences

What if you are stuck in the religious trap ?

Mental Health SeeSaw

I have been through a lot, I have seen a lot and I have learnt a lot. What I have learnt about life is that it’s made of choices. We are decision makers not the Mighty God in heaven. Being brought up as a Roman Catholic I was always forced to believe that nothing is in my power, my destiny has been decided for me and I can’t do anything about it. I remember ( as a child) attending the mass at our local church and listening to a priest talking about sins, purgatory, hell and heaven. There was a set of rules to avoid further suffering after life ( the life is meant to be a nasty long trial which leads to heaven or hell) : confession, money donation, frequent church attendance, prayer, prayer, prayer and overwhelming fear of everything which might be considered evil ( because that surely…

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Bumpy Bump

Precious Experiences

The truth about pregnancy.

Mental Health SeeSaw

Before getting pregnant I thought I knew everything about the whole pregnancy thing. I thought I was prepared and had it all figured all. Surprise, surprise I’ve been unprepared not only for a load of physical symptoms but also for mental health overload.

It feels like I’ve been on a rollercoaster which never slows down, never stops but constantly accelerates. I barely have control over it but I still need to hold it together. Which I do but it’s heck of a challenge.

What do I do to help myself?

First of all, I’ve been talking about my feelings and emotions out loud. I find it very therapeutic to be able to share them with my partner Ian.

Secondly, I’ve been taking it easy when I need by using coping techniques from active meditation. The active meditation is all about being aware of the present moment and focusing on breathing.

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Anxiety & Active Meditation

Precious Experiences

When anxiety strikes…

Mental Health SeeSaw

This lovely picture of Meg depicts my facial expression when I’m engulfed in waves of anxiety while desperately trying to practise active meditation.

When you ever experience a wave of overwhelming anxiety caused by the past events which are stored in your wicked brain just let them float on the surface of fear and insecurity. It will sail away if you don’t fight it. If you try to push it back it will resist and stay with you longer than it should. Someone would call it a complete and utter misery but on the other hand it’s better to be miserable for short while, bear in mind, it’s only temporary and you won’t wilt like a sad dandelion without air and water but you blossom like a lilly.

I look at it as at a temporary shut down of the system due to an upgrade where few bugs need to…

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What Can Poor Mental Health Do to You?

Precious Experiences

What can poor mental health do to you ?

Mental Health SeeSaw

Anxiety is a sneaky little bastard who happens to destroy you not only mentally but also physicaly.

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time I was 18 years old and suffered from anxiety, panic attacks and hypochondria. After counting moles on my body, reading various articles about skin cancer and dragging myself to few dermatologists I decided it was time to find something new in my body to focus on. My breasts: ta- dah !!! I found something in my breast… oh God… it was time to shift my attention to the terrifying breast cancer. The same process repeated itself: various articles, sick feeling in my throat, checking my breasts few times a day to feel the lumps… I was convinced I had few tumours… but that time was different because I had also started experiencing headaches, chest, neck, breasts and back pains…that was it… My anxiety…

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Life is a Journey

Live Updates

The journey which has welcomed a new cat and a little bubba growing inside me. Our family is expanding.

Mittens is beginning to get along with our new Italian female gangster Meg. Meg is very playful and looks forward to Mittens joining in her hyperactive ventures around the house. He is still a bit reluctant.

I’m slowly adjusting to pregnancy symptoms and trying to stay awake ( especially in the middle of the day 😅🤣). Ian has been very helpful trying to accomodate my needs and reminding me that I do need to slow down a bit.

Body & Mind Triggers

Precious Experiences

How to deal with toxic people….

Mental Health SeeSaw

You live your life fully, you think you are doing well, you have overcome so much, you are extremely proud of your strength and then baaam… one string of negative situations caused by the presence of a toxic person in your life brings you down to the very low ground. You feel, sad, lost and defeated. You have lost the joy of life and the sadness is eagerly devouring your self- confidence and self- esteem. If you could you would compare yourself to a whale who can’t swim and who is in the middle of the ocean drowning surrounded by active waves and ripples. You keep asking yourself- How does one human being can make you feel miserable? Deep inside, you know that they must be very unhappy with themselves and they simply take it out on you to make themselves feel better. You may pose as a strong person…

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ZEN

Precious Experiences

I stood outside barefoot on the pricly concrete wondering where to go. The demise of my thoughts was tormeting my bruised and shattered soul. The pain pierced my heart and the sorrow buried my brain. They placed me in the cemetery for reclusive and self punished creatures. Still alive but in deep hibernation I thought I took my last breath. I didn’t have a poignant farewell, nobody celebrated my extinction. My only companion who stayed with me for better and worse was faithful SOLITUDE. It wasn’t a final chapter but a prequel to LIFE. I gathered shattered pieces and built my own garden of Eden laid on the foundations of ZEN. I cherish my acquired spiritual freedom every single day. I stand outside barefoot feeling soft, juicy green and wavy grass under my feet. I feel delighted and spoilt. The beautiful life continues.

Music is my Survival Mode

Precious Experiences

There is nothing better than a soul comforted by music. It keeps me alive. It keeps me going. It reminds me that my Inner- self is there for me when the world around mentally crashes me in to pieces. Tune in to musically enhanced survival mode if you want to stay your real self.