Surreal thoughts

Dead Inside

Surreal thoughts

What path are you walking?

Mental Health See-Saw

I have

No reason to explain the illogical path I am walking

Drawing water from a well, turning on a tap

These all bring the same results

Walking from A to B can take hours or days

Though road is littered at the sides

Travelling through a seamlessly clear path

Unaware of the waste we pass

Drawing water from a well

Draws more breathes

Than when I turn on a tap

One place will make me ache

Another will push me to intoxicate

Each will make me sleep

Each will

Wake me up blind

And go to sleep awake

The day passes by

My thoughts

Dwelling on my mistakes

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Sweet Talking

Life is real, Surreal thoughts

Keep sweet talking to me…

Mental Health See-Saw

I SEE
OH I SEE
THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE
OH WHAT A LOOK
THE ANGER I SEE
COULD MAKE FLESH COOK
BUT WHAT I HEAR
OH DEAR
WHAT I HEAR
YOU KEEP SWEET TALKING ME
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING COMING
THOSE SUGAR WORDS TASTE FOUL
AND I KNOW
THE PAST YOU TOOK
THE PRESENT YOU LOOK
AND THE FUTURE WON’T BE THE SAME
YOU KEEP SWEET TALKING ME
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING COMING
THOSE SUGARY VOWELS HOWL
THE PAST YOU TOOK
THE PRESENT YOU LOOK
AND THE FUTURE WON’T BE THE SAME

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Mould it, Shape it

Surreal thoughts

I open the door… off I go… I go back to my inner- self. The nature is calling me, I want to abandon the necessities of existence and embrace the simplicity of my own immaculately woven world- made of intricate loops joined together in a chain of bitter happiness.

Is anxiety a curse or a gift? Maybe both. I was born this way, cursed or gifted? Incurable disease- they would call it many years ago, they would lock you up in the mental institution for being different? What has changed now? The fact that you are different, you can shape it and mould it the way you like. If you look for an affordable mental counseling from the government you won’t receive it unless you are border line suicidal. Cutting costs, you are just a number in the system. Shape it, mould it, live it.

Grey Thoughts

Surreal thoughts

Grey thoughts are blooming in my head like rotten apples dying in the tree. Drops of rain falling on my face keep me awake. I try to fall to sleep but I can’t because being in a coma doesn’t sound appealing to me at all. I don’t feel myself anymore. I’m just a machine who is programmed to live among other people. The last ounce of human carcass in my heart admires the nature. I’m sleepy and I’m tired. Goodnight Misery. Welcome blissful state of mind.

Dear Mother

Surreal thoughts

Rotten flesh that was left behind my deluded soul. Open wounds and neverending grief courtesy of mental paranormal activities. Unscattered exposed brain presented to the world in the most mesmerising way.

Don’t laugh at me.

Leave me alone.

You don’t understand me.

Don’t change me.

You’ve failed to do it mother.

Rage. Sadness. Anger. Why can’t you understand me? Perhaps you are trapped in your own world while feeding of others like a fucking parasite. Compensating me for your self-appaling ignorance materialisticly won’t console your guilty conscience.

Don’t laught at me.

Don’t ignore me.

Leave me alone.

Let me breath.

You don’t understand me.

Don’t change me.

You’ve failed to do it mother.

Surrounded by demonic potency of the Inner-Self I reach the Garden of Eden. I skipped the Purgatory.

Surprised?

Such an incessant matter of you being constantly unlucky and dissapointed in your own existence. I acquired freedom from my sins.

Don’t laugh at me.

Don’t ignore me.

Leave me alone.

Let me breath.

You don’t understand me.

You’ve failed to do it mother.

I won’t return your love because you were frozen when I needed you the most.