Moving House

Live Updates

I’ve just completed first week at my new job. It’s been a great & challenging experience! We are moving and it’s been a process but I could happily say we are almost there. My anxiety has never left me and has caused various symptoms which I have swiftly ignored- go Anya 😁😁😎

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The Power of Inner- Strength

Precious Experiences

You are special and unique. You have the inner-strenght which constantly helps you to face various positive & negative occurrences life . Don’t give up, take care of yourself and be patient. People say – ‘ Constant is only change.’ Imagine to be a plant which sprouts from the tree trunk of problems beaming with joy & happiness after the storm.

Bonnie’s Thoughts

Precious Experiences

Bonnie says- ‘ Dear People get outside, smell the air and feel the breeze, notice colours and various details in the surrounding environment. Most of all, ignore toxic and pathetic creatures who compensate their unhappiness & boredom with being overly curious about other people’s lives.’

I Hate MyselfΒ 

Life is real, Uncategorized

Do I hate myself? No, I don’t hate myself- I love myself  but I used to despise myself with the all mighty heart & soul. I thought I didn’t meet beauty standards and I mentally felt retarded because I’ve been highly sensitive, moody, introverted and scarred due to neglect and emotional abuse which occurred throughout my existence. I was disgusted with the size of my body, uneven colour of my skin, stretchmarks, loose skin, a big bum and funny teeth. I went through it all –  bullying, an eating disorder, anxiety, depression and panic attacks….

Remember, negative childhood doesn’t guarantee you unhappy life, same with the stable nest- it doesn’t protect you from the bad in the world. It depends on us- humans.

It took me a long while to realise it. I blamed everyone but me because I was convinced that my existence was pitiful and cursed. What I didn’t notice was that I was drawn to negative influences. I can compare it to standing in the middle of the motorway and waiting for being hit by a truck. When I decided to stay away from spiteful parasites and put my well-being on the first place things began to change for better.

Nature helped me a lot together with active meditation. Thich Nhat Hanh has been my mentor. He directed me (through his books) towards the path of mentally sober reality which needs to be challenged and constantly stimulated.  The mentally sober reality consist of better, neutral and worse experiences residing in our Universe. It solely depends on us of how we utilize them.

I’ve met good souls including my partner who supports me and understands me. He loves my good sides, emotional quirks and physical appearance – He loves me simply for who I am. Our relationship is based on mutual respect and honesty. He is my life partner whom I love for his true and real self. We are both equal.

I still find myself going through phases of self- pity and despair- especially when I have few obstacles to deal with but I have a better control over it as I know it has been my coping mechanism from as long I can remember. Nobody is perfect πŸ™‚

I’m proud of who I am today and so you should be. We all complex, different and unique.